I Do and Say Things I Probably Shouldn’t

There are two ‘Special Administrative Regions’ in China, Hong Kong and Macau. As the Las Vegas of Asia, Macau occupies little more than 11 square miles and has a population of about a half a million. I spent a weekend there with some friends and thoroughly enjoyed just about every moment of it.

I hopped on an early ferry with my friend Amanda to start the weekend off by conquering one of my fears, heights. Macau Tower prides itself as having the ‘worlds highest bungee jump’ at 233 meters, and I was on a mission to take the plunge. Predictably I got more and more freaked out as I got closer and closer, and by the time I purchased my non-refundable ticket I knew I was making a dumb ass decision.

I hate heights. HATE them. I don’t even like the feeling of being on a ladder. So when I got to the top of Macau Tower and looked though the glass floor I seriously questioned why I even bother going to college because I am CLEARLY too stupid to live. As those of you who know me are aware, I have a tendency to do and say things I probably shouldn’t. And this was no exception to that.

The process of jumping is terrifying. First, you sign a few forms acknowledging that you are retarded and could die. Then they put you in a harness that doesn’t seem like enough, yet is so ‘snug’ in ‘certain areas’ that you can barely walk. Next, you wait for about 20 minutes as other people take the plunge. They place rockin’ dance music the whole time, so (like most memorable moments in my life) I distracted myself from the fear by dancin’ it out. Finally, you are allowed outside where they wrap your ankles with a strap.

When you jump your main point of connection with the bungee cord is at the ankles, yet in order to not get lowered head first after the jump you have to lean up and yank a strap the changes your point of connection to your chest harness. You must do this in midair, and I did not like that at all. Once I was reassured that no one had ever died there I made my way to the platform.

Standing on the edge is without a doubt the worst part. As you get closer the cord attached to your ankles starts pulling more and more, and when you are at the very edge the ass holes that make money off this make you look at a camera and wave. Seriously they can go to hell. Standing on the edge of a tower thinking about my impending impact with the pavement is NOT when I want to take a damn picture.

Anyways, in a very Christ like way you spread your arms out and listen to them countdown. You must fall forward yourself, and that little voice in your head that says ‘maybe this is a bad idea’ is now screaming ‘THIS IS A REALLY STUPID IDEA DUMBASS!’ You accelerate for a second or two before hitting your terminal velocity and then just fall at a constant pace. I cannot remember a time when I felt so exhilarated and alive. When you start to oscillate back up it doesn’t hurt at all, and I mostly kept looking down wanting to be on terra firma. I guess the best way to put it is that bungee jumping goes against every logical bone in your body, and I really want to do it again.

After my jump of insanity I met up with the rest of my friends at the Venetian hotel (like the one in Vegas). The hotel was your typical huge casino, and we all had a wild night of gambling, bubble baths, Fat Burger, looking classy, and sipping drinks. We might have ended up walking around outside and through the casino floor in bathrobes, but it was Macau and we were white. Who’s gonna stop us?

The next day we somehow managed to get out of bed, and toured around the city seeing the sights. Macau was the home of the Portuguese merchants in China for hundreds of years (until the handover in 1999), and was the gateway to the important trading town of Canton (now Guangzhou). Around the city are some cool reminders of the colonial past, as well as the glittery casinos of today’s economy. The highlights are as follows…

The Grand Lisboa. The casino/hotel is the most recognizable in Macau, and is shaped like a pineapple. Golden awesomeness on the outside, and 70s disco dance club on the inside. It was obvi my favorite building (who doesn’t like pineapple?).

The Ruinas de Sao Paulo. It’s a façade of an old church that has long since crumbled away. I had never seen anything like it, and it was only marginally more awesome than the spiced fried chicken at the bottom of the hill it sits on.

The Largo do Senado. The name translates to the Loyal Senate, and remembers the Portuguese senate in Macau that refused to recognize Spain’s dominance during their occupation of the Iberian Peninsula during the 16th Century. Its basically a street and square with a cool pattern that is surrounded with bright colonial era buildings.

OK enough rambling of places and history. An amusing note is a plea from Macau’s mayor during the mid 90s to increase tourism when the gangs and triads ruled the city. His note was basically that Macau is very safe for tourists. The assassins are so good that their bullets never miss!

The city can basically be seen in a weekend, and I would go back in a heartbeat if given the chance. Everything from the modern casinos to the colonial building lined streets was a pleasure to experience. Of course, I would only go back if I could bungee jump again! I still cannot reconcile the fear I have of it and my urge to do it again. Logic apparently doesn’t happen with me.

P.S. As I type this I am watching a Chinese News program that is showing footage of the unrest in Thailand. Apparently the government is being overthrown or something. Whatever. Since I leave for the country in two days I’ll probably have to figure out what the big deal is. Anyways, I’ll write something about it when I get back.