If I See Another Damn Shrine…

The cultural capital of Japan is the city of Kyoto. I spent about a week there trying to get an idea of what Japan is all about, and taking trips to other places around the country. Kyoto was… interesting. Never before has a city been so interesting, and so thoroughly frustrating to me.

Lets start with the good stuff. The people were incredibly nice and helpful. Japanese people seem to always want to help you when you look lost, and will do their best to communicate in Engreesh whatever they can to point you in the right direction. This was exemplified by the owners of the guesthouses I stayed at (guest houses are like hostels/hotels/private homes all combined). From free maps, to writing in Japanese the things I needed at 7-11 I was never at a loss for a helping hand.

Sightseeing in Kyoto revolves largely around shrines and temples. Jesus Christ there are a lot of shrines. When walking around one gets the feeling that Japan spent its 200 years of isolation building shrines, pagodas, and temples in Kyoto. While they are all very pretty and unlike anything to be found in the States, several stand out as particularly stunning. In a single day I saw the worlds largest wood building, longest wood building, and tallest wood building. You might say that Kyoto has a pretty firm grasp on Japan’s wood hehehe. I noticed that all of these wood buildings had been destroyed by fire at least once in their long (and I mean over a thousand years old long) history, and for the life of me could not figure out why every single building had at one point burned down. An occasional fire is to be expected, but is Japan’s history really full of pyrotechnic monks?

The answer became abundantly clear to me as I approached a temple that appeared to be in the midst of one of these fires. Smoke was coming out of every opening of the building, and I was ready with my camera to take pictures of flaming monks running out the doors when I noticed people going in. Intrigued, I followed them into a room overloaded with candles and incense. I am totally a fan of candles and incense being burned at a safe distance from flammable objects and walls, but this was a display of faith that boarded on the edge of loony. No wonder these places were burning down! On a semi-related note the Japanese have these wonderful tables with a blanket coming out of the edges to cover your legs with, and a heater underneath. Sitting on the floor roasting your legs with some friends is a glorious time.

After seeing just about all the shrines and temples I could handle in one lifetime I shook things up a bit on the northwest edge of the city at the Golden Pavilion and Ryoan-ji Zen rock garden. The famous Pavilion was like nothing I’d ever seen, and the rock garden was a nice place to relax and contemplate life (or why the other tourists there felt it was ok to be loud and obnoxious).

My favorite part of Kyoto was going to Monkey Mountain. That’s right, I said Monkey Mountain. A 20-minute hike up to the top of a hill/mountain overlooking the city will bring you to the feeding ground of what the signs only referred to as ‘Japanese Monkeys.’ While terrifying at first to walk down a path of hungry screeching animals, the experience was amazing. Bags of oranges were for sale in the building where you could feed them through the fence, and I fell in love with a baby who I fed half my bag too (I also fell in love with the Aussie tourists doing the same thing). Despite one very large monkey attacking my hand and scaring the shit out of me for my baby’s orange, the experience was great.

The most unique part of Kyoto in my opinion is the Toriis at Fushimi Inari-taisha. Toriis signify a place as being sacred and every temple has one or two in front of it. This path had hundreds of them all built right next to each other (all orange) creating a kind of tunnel that runs up a mountain through a forest. Arriving around sunrise was a glorious idea, and I spent an hour or so having one of the most peaceful walks of my life. The only down side to this place is that there is no apparent end, and the gates are not built in one single path. So after an hour of walking up this mountain (something I found myself doing a lot in Kyoto) I decided there was no way there could be more gates ahead that were any different from the hundreds I had already walked through. Coming down one is presented with a series of forks in the road that didn’t seem to be there on the way up. So through a series of lucky guesses I eventually made my way out.

On a last positive note, the food in Kyoto is also great. Between traditional Japanese food and a delicious meal of Kim chi I was stuffed every night. I also must make a brief mention to the deliciousness of shrine stand food. In front of every shrine is a row of stands selling different foods carnival style. The octopus and sausages were all good and fine, but NOTHING compared to the fried chicken on a stick. OMFG this stuff was good. I’m kinda shamed to think about how much of it I ate. I must admit my inner Afro came out as I gorged myself on cup after cup of fried chicken, and all I could think was that the Colonel could learn a thing or two from these people.

Alas, not all was sunshine and lollipops in Kyoto. My arch nemesis quickly became the system of public transportation. There is no simple way to get around Kyoto. Your choices are cab (expensive), subway (doesn’t go anywhere), bus (slow, inconvenient, confusing, makes you feel like a poor person), above ground train (tracks run by two different companies, and doesn’t go anywhere convenient), and foot (nothing is close together so fuck that). I ended up utilizing all of these modes of transportation in my extremely frustrating attempt to get around the city. By the end of my stay there I was convinced of the fact that I will never live in a city that does not have an effective metro system.

To add to the hassle of getting around you must realize that Kyoto was mostly spared from the bombings of WWII, and thus their streets are still organized as they have been for hundreds of years. This makes traveling even harder (along with the fact that streets generally aren’t labeled, at least in English). Consider that and the lack of labeling at pretty much every site, and you begin to feel my confusion.

My last bone to pick with getting around Kyoto is scales. Every map I used either had no scale, or was badly mislabeled (at least I thought so). As my five-minute walks turned into 20-minute hikes I quickly began to lose my patience with these maps. At the height of my frustration I spent an hour getting to one temple that was closed, and another confusing trip to the Imperial Gardens. When I finally arrived I was starving and nothing was open. I felt like I was having a ‘Red Bandana Day’ as we refer to it in my house, when suddenly everything was alright. Across an intersection like a golden haloed angel was McDonald’s. Let me tell you, nothing makes you feel better like a greasy American meal when you’re cold, tired, hungry, and pissed off.

After that glorious meal I wandered around the peaceful (yet unimpressive) Imperial Gardens, and visited some near by shrines. A canal runs near the river in Kyoto, and a path known as the Philosophers Walk runs along side it. It’s supposed to be one of ‘Kyoto’s best loved spots,’ according to my guidebook. Maybe it was because I arrived at dusk, maybe it was because I was cold, OR maybe it was because the canal is basically a stream running through a glorified ally lined with touristy shops and restaurants that I was disappointed with this famed path. At any rate, I was ready to call it a day so I took three different busses to a station that was a 10-minute walk from my hotel. Thanks Kyoto public transportation.

The last place worth mentioning is an area called Gion. Known as a place of geishas, karaoke, and bars I felt weird wandering around by myself. Every street had a plethora of strip clubs, and an array of promoters and bouncers in front of each. Needless to say I skipped the titty bars, and instead went to an place called Pontocho Ally. This tiny ally is the idyllic home to Kyoto’s gay district, and is best appreciated after dark. I was shocked to find that, for the first time in my experiences with gay districts, it was NOT as sketchy as its surrounding counterparts. Most restaurants were full so I chose a tiny place that had great food, but the most depressing music and server of all time. Feeling underwhelmed with the area I wandered home, and wouldn’t you know it, I got really lost and had to take a cab.

Despite the ups and downs of each day in Kyoto, I always knew that I could end the day on a high note. I knew this because 7-11s are everywhere, and they all sell a variety of liquors. So with several Japanese beers in hand (me with beer, surprising right?) I wrapped myself up and watched Battle Royale on my laptop. Despite all of my bitching, I actually did like Kyoto a lot. The pictures were great, the food tasty, the people nice, and the monkeys were generally nice. I would recommend it as a stop to anyone traveling to Japan.

P.S. I have been wondering about two things a lot in the past day or so. One, why do all Japanese bathrooms have a sink to wash your hands, but no soap or towels to dry your hands off? I keep getting my hands wet and awkwardly having to dry them off on my pants ☹. Two, how do Japanese people sleep on the metro? I can’t help but notice the large amount of people with heads slumped over in an apparent nap on the metro, despite the constant movement and noises of the train. How do these people wake up for their stops? Maybe they aren’t asleep. I don’t know, but hopefully I will find out when I meet up with my friend Marielle in Tokyo!

P.P.S. I now realize that these events are in no way organized in any chronological order. Please bear with my ADD mind, and tangent thoughts.